Tonight we experience the 25th
anniversary of our historic
multi-faceted global fundraiser in
honor of the mayor and governor of
this incredible city of ours. As
usual the worlds 1% join us to
collectively raise funds for
causes such as teen pregnancy,
prison reform, population control
and world hunger. We encourage our
Hollywood representatives to
network with our gala guests and
to make yourselves at home in high
society giving. I'm Misty Von
Dutch and lets let the bidding



Vida & Teen Sharon


The driver obliges a then 25 year old newlywed Vida Roper as
 she pulls up to a modest single family ranch style home.
 Vida has a FORECLOSURE sign in hand.


                         Driver keep the car running. You
                         never know when a former owner is
                         in such denial of the inevitable.
                               surveying the
                         Brock is going to have to demolish
                         the entire rear portion of this
                         property if he wants to flip it
                         for some real cash.


               A vivrant yet seemingly troubled teenager affixes onto Vida


                                     TEENAGE SHARON
                               (somewhat timid)
                         Excuse me Miss?


                               (taking mental
                               notes aloud)
                         Ok, so after we tear apart the
                         rear we'll gut the inside and add,
                         add, add


                         Is there a septic tank or do we
                         have sewage drains alongside?
                         Hmm...looks like a septic tank.

                                     TEENAGE SHARON
                         Excuse me Miss?

               NPR still resonates out the radio of Drivers town car while
               Vida is being Vida


                                     TEENAGE SHARON
                               (relentless and
                         Excuse me Mrs. Roper!


                               (bickering at the
                               NPR hostess)
                         What is she talking about! The
                         prime rate is a steady 7% how is
                         this not a sellers market!! Driver
                         is she insane?


                                     TEENAGE SHARON
                               (now in Vida's

                         Actually the prime rate as of this
                         morning is 5.25%...the NPR hostess
                         said its a buyers market and that
                         the rates were deemed
                         non-predatory. Mrs Roper, my daddy
                         owns this house. Can I please talk
                         to you?


                         You must pay attention in class
                         young lady either that or you're
                         one nosey little bitch.


                                     TEENAGE SHARON
                         Well Mrs Roper, I...


                         And how the hell do you know my


                                     TEENAGE SHARON
                         Your sign. It says "Roper Realty
                         Corp"...so I just multiplied the
                         sign times the town car and it
                         equals YOU.


                               (utterly confused)
                         Im sorry...who the hell are you?!


                                     TEENAGE SHARON
                         Mrs Roper, my daddy owns this
                         land. He built this house with his
                         own two hands. He worked day and
                         night just to make sure that his
                         new born baby girl had a house to
                         call home. This is the only house
                         I've ever owned. Please.


                         Oh you poor thing...you do know
                         that your father is 5 months in


                                     TEENAGE SHARON
                         Yes. It's just that he was
                         recently laid off


                         Fired right? Do you mean he was

                                     TEENAGE SHARON
                         No Mam...he was laid off. His
                         severence package ran out as of 2
                         months ago and he refuses to allow
                         me to work on account of school.
                         All we need is time to help my
                         father get back to work. He's out
                         looking for work now.


                         And what about you? How old are
                         you? Why aren't you pitching in to
                         help out and stay out of


                                     TEENAGE SHARON
                         I'm 15 and Like I said my father
                         says that my education is...


                         You know...when I was 16, I ran
                         away for 2 whole days. After the
                         3rd day I came back home with
                         $300, a new outfit and I never
                         once had to beg some stranger to
                         give my daddy a "break"?


                                     TEENAGE SHARON
                               (now sobbing)
                         I don't have $300 but I can get a
                         job and...


                         Word of advice girlfriend. As long
                         as you have that forbidden fruit
                         between your legs...you can't ever
                         cry broke. Use what you got to get
                         what you want.


Madolyn & Desmona


Desmona is writing a song and strumming her six string. Her
               brother Derek is on his way out the door.


                         Hi mom. Im heading to the Pool

                               (gives her son the
                               side eye and
                               enters the house)
                         Hi honey...guess who I saw at last
                         nights benefit gala? Give up?
                         Connor Langly! He was with his
                         parents. Oh you remember Connor
                         Langly? Well you went to high
                         school with him? Oh he was just as
                         handsome as ever. Why didn't you
                         go to prom with him? I mean what
                         teenage girl decides not to go to
                         her senior prom just to stay home
                         and read a book? Do you still have
                         his numbr, email or twitter


               Desmona slowly removes her earpieces


                         Hi mommy, how are you? And how was
                         your day?


                         Desmona are you serious? I was
                         just talking to you for the past
                         15 minutes!


                         I'm so sorry mom. I'm writing this
                         new song thats really powerful and
                         often leaves me drifting. Wanna
                         hear it?


                         Connor Langley...you know his
                         parents gave a generous donation
                         to the victims of some earthquake
                         in some god-foresaken country.
                         Desmona Langley. Hmm? You may have
                         to hyphenate. Desmona Bacall
                         hyphen Langley.


                         Excuse me? Why are you pitching
                         Connor Langley to me? You do know
                         he's gay right? Yeah, he was
                         caught with plenty of boys off
                         campus. I guess it'd be awkward if
                         we marry huh?


                         Connor is a gayard? How does that


                         By loving another man, imagine.


                         Ouch! Ooops, I mean you know Mario
                         ny hair stylist is a gayard so
                         I...I...I mean to each his own is
                         what I mean.


                         Right mom...I got a song to finish
                         as much as Id love to explore your
                         massive homophobia I really got a
                         groove with this song and I feel

                         So the man and the other man
                         well...I guess....Im lost hear.
                         Desmona can you work your magic
                         and ungay, discontinue, I mean
                         cure...For christ sakes I once
                         felt that your father had the gay
                         but I've since transcended those


                         Mom! Its a lifestyle not a
                         disease. And they aren't gayards.
                         I gotta go mom. Gotta keep writing
                         my song. Have a goodnight.


                               (ignoring her)                           
                         Well then its settled. You'll get
                         all sexy for him and just drive
                         the gayness out!

Pillar & Maximillon


               Pillar is reading one of Vida's jailhouse pen pal letters
               which she stole at the last meeting. With every word and
               syllable uttered she drifts into euphoria. Pillar pleasures
               herself with light tantilizing pitter-patters on her punany.
               She is paying special attention to a package on her
               passenger seat next to her.


               Pillar scrunches the letter, hides it in her purse and heads
               inside her home with the package in tow..


                               (excited upon
                         Hola my big matador of a man


               Maximilion is sitting in the living room watching an intense
               soccer match


                         Hi darling, how was your day? Were
                         you speaking Spanish? I haven't
                         heard you speak that in years.


               Pillar opens the package and removes a red cloth and tosses
               it straight into Maximilions face and over his head.


                         Honey, did I do something?
                               (weirded out)
                         Okay then. I'm just watching this


               Pillar gives her husband a sensual glance and goes into
               their bedroom.


                         Baby...can you please come here
                         for a moment? Oh and bring the red
                         cloth okayyy?


                               (reluctant and
                         Yes darling. I'm coming.


               Damn near peeling himself off the couch Maximilion enters
               the room with the red cloth as instructed.

               Upon entering the room Maximiion hears a series of poorly
               attempted bull grunts and snarls that petrify him. He's
               suddenly charged and hit behind the back which sends him
               flying across the room.


                               (scraping feet
                               against the rug)
                         Im a raging bull
                               (fingers on her
                               head like horns)




               Maximilion uses the cloth to suspend her motion as she
               rushes through the now dangling red cloth.


                         Your my Spanish matador baby. Come
                         grab this bull by her horns.




                         Hello, this is Brock Roper talk to
                         me, I'm listening...yes that is
                         correct demolition has started and
                         we believe to be on schedule for a
                         soft opening in 3 months and our
                         grand opening in 6.
                               (Brock glances at
                               his rollex)
                         Get Mr. Fitzpatrick on the phone
                         please. Lets make his transition
                         as painful as possible...no mercy
                         ladies and gentlemen this is
                         business, if you want mercy then
                         go to church! He opted out which
                         means an immediate demotion and I
                         intend to treat him like the
                         sidewinder I always knew he was.


                               (stops pacing
                         Mr. Fitzpatrick, I would
                         reintroduce myself but lets face
                         it. You and your whole family
                         probably knows my name. Hell your
                         kids may even call me the
                         boogieman. So this is whats going
                         to happen. Since you opted out of
                         the generous golden parachute I
                         produced you are now to report to
                         the Human Resources Department to
                         receive your new work assignment.
                         Oh and Mr. Fitzpatrick, please
                         only use the blue urinal cakes. We
                         try to keep things uniform. Oh and
                         happy anniversary to you and the


               Brock gropes his crotch


                               (cocky as hell)
                         Next on the agenda. Is everyone in
                         the conference room Ellsa? Thank
                         you. Greetings team. I'll be
                         working from home for the first
                         half of the day but I wanted to
                         have a brief meeting beforehand.
                         First of all Mr. Lovejoy are you

                               (Mr Lovejoy
                               replies "yes sir")

                         Excellent Mr. Lovejoy you are
                         terminated as of today, next
                         agenda is sales on the Apple stock
                         Jillian. Can we anticipate another
                         50% profit hike as we did 30% last
                         month we're trying to do better.
                         Thanks for your time folks and as
                         usual...you want to have fun then
                         get out of my office and go play
                         shuffle board. But you wanna make
                         money, then get out their get your
                         clients on the phone and move some
                         money around!!!!!!


                        Vida, with the constant noise and
                         yelling this god-forsaken animal
                         house has I have no choice but to
                         swim in my thoughts.  When I close
                         my eyes Vida, I can almost mask
                         the screams of inmate fuckery and
                         transcend into my memories.
                         I transpose the voices to
                         those I heard in Barcelona. Eerily
                         similar to the crowd at the El
                         Toro Stadium.


                         I can almost taste the mist of
                         kiwi fruit trees hovering above
                         our seats. The draw was danger and
                         death and the appeal was magnetic.
                         All you can do is try to put
                         yourself in the boots of the
                         I had a 3 month affair with
                         Tuscani's finest bullfighter.  He
                         was on a tour of sorts throughout
                         the world.  As I sat in the stands
                         I watched as Marcello Martini, the
                         bravest man I had ever met stare
                         down the steamy brow of Tornado,
                         the most feared bull stud in
                         He looked at tornado like he
                         looked at me.  Like I had to be
                         What were only seconds felt like
                         an eternity. In bed, he was the
                         raging bull and I was the auburn
                         cape.  As he charged, I teased, I
                         swooped, I turned to my side.  Not
                         far, just close enough to still
                         feel his lusting fury....his
                         manhood.  I always surrendered to
                         his charge. I was down and he
                         pounced on my supple thighs until
                         I was dead...killed with love;
                         slayed with a passionate fever for
                         a full blooded male meat inside
                         I tied my legs around him to trap
                         his Mediterranean sperm inside me
                         for a son.  But that date never
                         came. I miscarried two saturdays
                         later and then .... Marcello was
                         killed by an African Rhino on
                         safari in Nirobi.
                         I never had the resources to
                         confirm that story.
                         It very well could be I wasn't
                         enough woman for him, but I doubt
                         Maybe it was an African woman who
                         just loved him better that I did
                         and he never came back.  Left me
                         in the Tuscan Waldorf Astoria with
                         an empty bed and a tear filled
                         I spent the next six months
                         entertaining barons,magnates and
                         mademoiselles. but I was bored.
                         Their presence gave but a fraction
                         of heart beat Marcello delivered.
                         You can only fight bulls for so
                         long.  If a man is wild, you will
                         loose him to the world. The saying
                         is absolutely right I fucked with
                         the bull and got the horn.


              JoJo is patiently sitting in the waiting room to be summoned
               for an interview at a prestigous law firm. When a strikingly
               handsome black man announces that she is next. They meet,
               greet and walk into the interview room.


                                     JOB INTERVIEWER
                               (extends handshake)
                         Thank you for your punctuality
                         Miss Macintock. Thats always a
                         plus in my opinion.


                                     JO JO
                               (gives a firm
                         You're welcome. I find that being
                         on time reflects on how much
                         importance the matter is to you.


                                     JOB INTERVIEWER
                         Very well put. Now have a seat and
                         lets begin your interview.


                                     JO JO
                         Thank you.


                                     JOB INTERVIEWER
                         So Miss Macintock why do you want
                         to work here at our law firm?


                                     JO JO
                         Well your firms accolades speak
                         for itself. The past 10 years have
                         been predicated on the
                         unprecedented grown breaking cases
                         Collins, Shad and Ramini have


               On the desk of the interviewer is a health conscience
               magazine with an array of fruits on the cover. JoJo notices
               a kiwi fruit at a glance and has a brief recollection if
               Sharons letter. JoJo is catapulted into a steamy daydream.
               She stands up, rips open her blouse and dives over the desk
               landing on the intervewers lap. She is straddling him while
               feeding him kiwi fruits. He is kissing and groping her ass
               while she moans with every touch. She faintly recites
               Sharons story when suddenly! In the middle of their sex
               explosion her interviewer says no. Stop this Miss Macintok,
               Miss Macintok

               JoJo awakes


                                     JOB INTERVIEWER
                         Miss Macintock!! Are you with me?
                         You seem to have daydreamed. I was
                         calling your name for a few


                                     JO JO
                               (confused with
                               right hand
                               fondling her left
                               breast and left
                               hand cuping her

                         Huh? I mean...where am?


               JoJo gazes at the job interviewer in such a ravishing way
               that he abruptly ends the session.


                                     JOB INTERVIEWER
                         Ok. Well thank you for your time
                         Miss Macintock and we'll follow up
                         with you.



                In a lounge / pool hall sits Derek and the enablers. The
               enablers are a ragtag bunch of weed-heads and beer guzzlers
               who mooch off of Dereks hospitality and exploit Dereks
               stupidity. Colby makes his usual grand entrance.


                               (Disguises his
                               voice to sound

                         Excuse me can I speak to the owner
                         of this establishment??!!


                         That'd me. What's up?


                         "Not me"? Dude,,thats not
                         professional at all. And why're
                         you not behind the bar serving


                               (looks around the
                         What customers?




                         And why aren't your enablers
                         pushing a broom, barbacking for
                         you or out front drawing in


                         Man you need just chill and smoke
                         some of that sour diesel we just
                         picked up. Come on man drinks on
                         the house.


                         Nah, I'm good. But Derek, how are
                         you ever gonna convince your
                         parents that you can actually turn
                         a profit? I keep telling
                         you...spruce the place up. Lose
                         the name change the game.


                         Oh yeah...Posh-life, poof or what
                         was it you said?


                         Plush-Life ...hey its catchier
                         than 'Dereks Pool Hall' I'll tell
                         you that much. We should be
                         packing the house everyday. I mean
                         you got the coolest parents in the
                         world and you just taking shit for
                         granted. You're my best friend man
                         so I gotta tell you straight up.


AVA & Miles

               In the living room is the king of all couch potatoes Miles
               Adolph Monroe who is the 18 year old son of Ava D. Monroe.
               His goal is to research everything under the sun that will
               be of no use to you ever in life.


                               (abruptly enters
                               the house)

                         Hey Miles...did you find a job

                         Mom! Thank goodness you're here!
                         Did you know that a group of crows
                         are called a "murder"?


                         As a matter fact I didn't know
                         that "Einstein"...so did you learn
                         that at your job interview today?


                         Interesting...I mean you got your
                         flock of seagulls, your herd of
                         cattle, pack of wolves, school of
                         fish, pod of whale but...


                                                       AVA INTERRUPTS

                         Miles! Turn the tv off or I'll
                         grab the remote and beat you with
                         it. Now unless you plan on winning
                         on "Jeopardy" no one gives a damn
                         about a covey of quail or a
                         parliament of owl.


                               (highly impressed)
                         Nice touch mom! That was deep.


                         Focus Miles! Focus. Is this all
                         your days consist of? Vegging out
                         in front of a 60inch flat screen
                         consuming hours of regurgitated
                         ass backwards nonsense? Miles, I
                         can't take it anymore.


                         Oooh! I got it,,a crash of


                         Miles, its time for me to clip
                         your wings and set you free from
                         this nest of yours. I've thought
                         about this for a while now. I've
                         found you an apartment and I'll
                         even pay a years worth of rent for
                         you. However no car service and no
                         more black card. I'll get you a
                         buspass and train card. You'll
                         have to get a job and start
                         budgeting your earnings.


                               (utterly baffled)
                         Public transportation? A budget? I
                         feel dizzy mom.


                         This is the moment I feared Miles.
                         You are suffering from affluenza.
                         And I seem to be putting my foot
                         down a few allowances and lavish
                         gifts too late.


                         Affluenza? Mom I use condoms just
                         like you told me to. How can I
                         have got affluenza? My fidgityness
                         is because of my placebo effect.


                         Miles, affluenza simply means that
                         I always kept you somewhat
                         sheltered and privileged. Now I
                         think thats given you a false
                         sense of reality and a disregard
                         to hard work. But that ends today.
                         You're moving out son.


                         Well what does dad have to say
                         about this?


                         Who do you think recommended your
                         salt tablets?


                         Salt tablets?


                         Oh, I'm sorry. Your placebo.




               Farah Dupree passes by the husbands and gives them all a
               thirsty stare. Farah Dupree sits down on the one open chair
               and positions herself toward the group. She vies for their
               attention to no avail.


                         Vida I love your shoes!
                               (double intrusive)
                         Hello Madolyn, Pillar and Ava. I
                         see the whole circle is here


                         Farah what on earth are you
                         barking about?


                         Oh come on now...I hear that
                         theres a certain clandestine group
                         of upper class socialites that get
                         together at a certain mansion from
                         time to time and just have a frand
                         ole time


               The ladies begin to scatter to different sections of the
               room like a systematic regiment.


                         Where's everybody going? Come on!
                         Vida please I want to join. I
                         haven't heard back anything yet?


                         Farah if there was such a
                         group...and mind you I have no
                         knowledge as it pertains to this
                         "circle" but I'd imagine that if
                         you weren't extended a cordial
                         invite then you just aren't their
                         make up.

Dutch, Maximillian, Brock, Betram


              Dutch Monroe reveals a mini humidor containing some Cuban
               cigars for the fellas.


                               (takes a whiff)
                         Very good Dutch. These are


                         Nice touch. I was hoping I didn't
                         have to drink 5 glasses of that
                         watered down swill they call


                               (raises his stogey)
                         Cheers guys...to arms!


                         Just don't tell Ava. I've been
                         sneaking away throughout the days
                         and nights to enjoy these without
                         her knowing.


                         You're lucky. I swear I live with
                         a CSI expert! I forsee her getting
                         a sperm sample from me for DNA
                         analysis. If she just got that
                         creative in bed?


                         I know the feeling. I call Ava and
                         my consummation rate "nil" ...she
                         gets pissed off but such is life.


                         Nil? I feel for you. I tried to
                         initiate something last night and
                         Vida said she has gas? Gas!?


                         That is called 'chemical warfare'
                         my friend.


                         Are you saying we're at war with
                         these women?


                               (exhales a plume
                               of smoke)
                         Precisely. Think about it. You
                         have two opposites engaging...or
                         oponents. And either side have
                         their unique stratagem according
                         to his or hers geographics,
                         strengths and weaknesses etcetera.


                         All is fair in love and war


                         Whoever said that was probably a


                               (takes a strong
                         Ha ha ha!!


                         I mean love is by far the most
                         unfair of battles. One has to
                         develop his or her own rules of
                         engagement. You must know your
                         opponents thoughts and try to
                         often times counter their moves.




                         Are you with me Dutchman?!


                         Then Niccolo Machiaveli must have
                         been a chick magnet!


                         And Tsun Xu a heartbreaker


                         Ahh but I've yet to talk about
                         your weaponry!


               The husbands all laugh


                         I gotta retreat and re-strategize
                         cause Madolyn hasn't invaded my
                         territory in months.


                         Vida isn't exactly storming my
                         beach either.


                         Ava is in the war room negotiating
                         a peace treaty.


                         Pillar considers me hostile


                         I'm considering therapy guys. If
                         we don't spark the fire back
                         soon...well I don't wanna lose

                         I know what you mean. She can be a
                         headache but she's my headache.


                         Pillar is my biggest fan. As much
                         as I hate these auctions I just
                         love to see peoples mouth drop
                         when they see how gorgeous my wife


                         I agree gentlemen. Our wives are 1
                         in a million.


Sewing Circle ensemble



              Vida Roper, a 40 something  stunning, poised and polished
               elite, upscale New York socialite entertains a weekly group
               of a who's who of bourgeois culture.  Vida is posing for her
               circle of friends in a never before seen lingerie number
               that has them in an uproar of envious shrills and gasps.
               Vida does a semi twirl around and sits down heavy from the
               complimentary champagne


                         Oh, you debutants are just so
                         flattering…do you really like it?
                         The sales clerk said it made me
                         look appetizing.  My stars ladies
                         he looked like he lived at the
                         gym. His arms felt like I was
                         holding a log of firewood!


               We hear broad steps approaching from upstairs. It's Brock
               Roper, Vida's husband. He's a Wall Street big wig.  A golden
               boy whose born unto money and has always gotten what he
               wants. He exits the home purposely ignoring his wifes social
               group. The women don't mind one bit.

                         Too-ta-loo my love


               Brock closes the door behind him mumbling various


               Joe Beth Macintock aka Jo Jo is the youngest of the group.
               She's in her mid 20's and has been a member of the elite
               club for a year now.


                                     JO JO


               Ava Monroe is the heir to a large textile company. She's a
               mid-forties knockout of a woman. She holds a wine glass with

                               (somewhat cross)
                         Did he even notice my particularly
                         loose-fitting blouse?

               Madolyn Bacall is a mid forties beautiful chief of staff at
               a major New York Trauma Center. She's all about the money
               and treats patients as just another bed statistic.


                         Darling...Roy Orbinson could see
                         those twins of yours

               Pillar Gardner is a self made millionaire who capitalized on
               the dot-com boom with her online sales of her Greek driven

                               (Prim and proper)
                         My glass seems to be in need of
                         refilling my darlings

               Vida our hostess obliges Pillar with a genorous refill


                         Oh, Brock is just a bit worked up
                         over a new client of his. No
                         matter. I'm going to surprise him
                         with a bleach-blond wig I just
                         And if that doesn't work. I'll
                         just add a bleach-blond bimbo to
                         the equation.


                         Oh, you Harlequin






                                     JO JO


               Vida raises her wine glass like an olympic torch


                         Guilty as charged. Conversation,
                         like certain portions of the
                         anatomy, always runs more smoothly
                         when lubricated." Or in my case
                               gratifying laugh)


                               (clears her throat)
                         Shall we commence the circle of


               The ladies begin to snicker uncontrollably